I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
