This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
