you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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