we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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