Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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