eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
