Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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