you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
