So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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