i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
