Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
