My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
