If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
