Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
