Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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