Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
