I like to think it a success when the cops are called
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
