i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
