An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize