I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
