What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
