I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
