We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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