Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
why didn't you poke me back
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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