And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
