At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
