I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
MIDGETS
????
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
