Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
