she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm really into asian looking animals
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
