Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
