this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
