people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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