first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Randomize
