508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize