I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
