I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
