I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize