so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
