If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
please don't ironically join a cult
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