You can't special order awesome
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
