My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
