Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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