Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
