My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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