if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize