It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
