now i know why i became what i already was.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
