If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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