i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
