haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
