I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize