Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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