I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
