His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
