My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize