I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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