shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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