My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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