Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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