just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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