I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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