Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
My balls are so social today.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
