Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
