Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
