these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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