I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
