did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
