Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
