return my video game
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
